Ek kry hierdie vanoggend deur die e-pos:

This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.

Operator:         ‘Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?’
Caller:              ’Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.’
Operator:         ‘What sort of trouble??’
Caller:              ’Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.’
Operator:         ‘Went away?’
Caller:              ’They disappeared.’
Operator:         ‘Hmm So what does your screen look like now?’
Caller:              ’Nothing.’
Operator:         ‘Nothing??’
Caller:              ’It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.’
Operator:         ‘Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??’
Caller:              ’How do I tell?’
Operator:         ‘Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??’
Caller:              ’What’s a sea-prompt?’
Operator:         ‘Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?’
Caller:              ’There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.’
Operator:         ‘Does your monitor have a power indicator??’
Caller:              ’What’s a monitor?’
Operator:         ‘It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on??’
Caller:               ‘I don’t know.’
Operator:          ’Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??’
Caller:              ’Yes, I think so.’
Operator:         ‘Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.
Caller:              ’Yes, it is.’
Operator:         ‘When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??’
Caller:               ‘No.’
Operator:          ’Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.’
Caller:               ‘Okay, here it is.’
Operator:          ’Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.’
Caller:               ‘I can’t reach.’
Operator:          ’Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??’
Caller:               ‘No.’
Operator:          ’Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??’
Caller:               ‘Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle – it’s because it’s dark.’
Operator:          ’Dark??’
Caller:               ‘Yes – the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
‘ Operator: ‘Well, turn on the office light then.’
Caller:               ‘I can’t.’
Operator:          ’No? Why not??’
Caller:               ‘Because there’s a power failure.’
Operator:  ’A power……… A power failure? Aha, Okay, we’ve got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??’
Caller:               ‘Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.’
Operator:           ‘Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.’
Caller:                ’Really? Is it that bad?’
Operator:            ’Yes, I’m afraid it is.’
Caller:                 ‘Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??’
Operator:            ’Tell them you’re too f — ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!’

Ek weet nie of dit waar is nie, maar dit is redelik snaaks. Ek kan my nogal indink dat die help-desk ou ge-fire is, maar dit is ook onregverdig. Want sommige mense IS te bliksems dom vir ‘n computer. Jy behoort dit nie persoonlik op te neem as jy een van hulle is nie. Sommige mense kan Toegepasde Fisika in Mikrobiologiese Seldeling baasraak en sommige kan nie. Almal wil graag vir NASA nuwe Oriënterings Sagteware skryf vir hulle nuwe Mars-landingstuig, maar nie almal kan nie (oraait nie ALMAL wil nie, dit klink eintlik kakkerig).

Ek het ‘n persoon geken, en ek gaan nie name noem nie, wat op ‘n ou Pentium I, wat stadig was, so 5 sekondes gewag het vir sy speletjie om te begin nadat hy gekliek het. Dit het amper nooit gebeur nie, en dan het hy aangeneem dat die rekenaar ‘vashaak’ en hom by die ‘reset’ knoppie laat ‘restart’. Daai rekenaar het so maand gehou, wat eintlik BAIE lank is en ek het nou nog respek vir Dell na daai rekenaar.

Hy is nie ‘n dom ou nie, glad nie. Hy kan hele inkopie lyste tot binne ‘n rand of twee uitwerk in sy kop. Hy kon in ‘n hof getuig oor sensitiewe forensiese bewysstukke. Maar hy is TE FOKKEN ONNOSEL VIR “N COMPUTER. Hy het dit besef en hy het ‘n laptop, maar net omdat hy een moet hê en die werk hom gratis verskaf.

Die geheim is om nie te avontuurlustig te wees met computers as jy niks van hulle weet nie. Ek het ‘n ander vriend, wat nie weet hoeveel RAM hy in sy computer het nie, of wat presies RAM is nie, maar hy is alewig besig om hardeskywe te ‘format’ en lêers rond te skuif en ander kaksoekerige goed te doen.  Sy computer is ALTYD stukkend. Hy is in die rekenaarwinkel vir so twee weke, dan werk hy so week, selfs partykeer ‘n maand, as hy min tyd gehad het vir rondfok met die ding.
Jy moet jouself die vraag vra, is jy te onnosel om ‘n rekenaar te besit? Sal dit nie bevrydend wees om dit te besef nie? Jy sal jouself soveel hartseer, frustrasie en teleurstelling spaar. Jy kan vir mense sê dat jy ‘n klomp goed beter kan doen as wat meeste ander mense kan. ‘n Siek kind dokter toe vat,  ‘n kinderpartytjie reël en hou, ‘n V8 enjin in ‘n Nissan 1400 bakkie oorbou en nog ‘n klomp goed, maar rekenaars kry jou onder. Dit is mos nie ‘n skande nie?